Okay so my day consisted completely of babysitting and homework today. But I had one interesting thing happen in it. The little I babysit who is eleven years old and her friend who is likely ten were watching a movie called "Switched" about a guy best friend who switches his girl best friends sperm donor cup with his own sperm. So kind of awkward chick flick already to be watching with preteens and I'm just praying there is no nudity or sex scene because Mom hadn't seen it before and she was counting on me to be parental control. I was prepared for squeals of "gross" "yuck!" and such about the idea of sperm, but I was not ready for this question: "What is sperm?" that comes from the bff of my charge.
First off I was blown away a bit that she didn't know what it was, but then reminded myself that kids don't get the sex talk in school until 7th grade and that 5th graders only get the puberty talk. I got my first sex talk really early in life because I was confused by a friend's older sister who tried to give me the sex talk. An here I was trying not to have this talk with this little girl (not my place) and still answering her question. I think I said that it was "white stuff a guy gave to a girl to help her have a baby", in which her response was "They pee in you?" While trying not giggle I answered "no, it different stuff."
Luckily my charge who had not said a word since her friends question, interrupted us and asked if we wanted to play outside. Hugely relieved I said yes and we went outside, turning off the movie.
SOOO yeah, that was my day.
When do you think it is appropriate that kids get "the talk" ?
I've never heard of that movie before. Weird! And definitely awkward to babysit to.
ReplyDeleteI think kids should know from a young age. They should know and use the full names of all their body parts as soon as they can handle speaking the words, along with knowing how the opposite sex is different. Answer any questions they have as soon as they ask them, even if you have to simplify it a little because of age (you'd describe birth differently to a four year old than an eleven year old).
I don't think it should be "the talk." Just life-long openness about the issue. Treat it as natural and not taboo to talk about. Teach them about sex and sexuality their whole life, answer questions as they come, explain situations they've seen that they might not have thought to ask about, and occasionally start a new conversation when you think there's something important to say.
Being open and natural about it when they're young makes it easier for them to comprehend what's happening to their bodies, as well as let them make better decisions when they get older. And if you've talked openly about birth control when they were too young to need it (thus probably not that awkward of a conversation for them), then when they do want it they'll be more informed, or even willing to approach you to talk about it.
I think kids need to start learning at a young age. Around 8-9 seems like a good starting point for me. Not the nitty gritty at that point but just the beginning of an explanation. And I agree with Brenda too. Letting kids feel comfortable about sexuality is emotionally a lot healthier.
ReplyDeleteFor example- I have no problem with children seeing nudity in a non sexual way. Like a person taking a shower in a movie. The less uncomfortable they feel about themselves and their sexuality the healthier I think children will be.
Just my opinion though